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Adoption Stories

Adoption Stories

Birth Mother’s Day: Recognizing Strength

Each year, the Saturday before Mother’s Day is known as Birth Mother’s Day. It was first celebrated in 1990 as a day to recognize the women who have made the challenging decision to place their babies for adoption. It is also a way of addressing the guilt, shame, and negative stigma around birth mothers, as well as adoption. To mark the occasion, we are sharing stories from three of our clients about what Birth Mother’s Day means to them.Read more

A mother and her adopted son using a laptop on the couch.
Adoption Stories

Open Adoption in Massachusetts: What I Wish I Knew

Jane L., an Adoption Resources client, shares her unique experience with open adoption in Massachusetts.

I will always remember the day we met our son, Jake. Though he now stands 6 feet tall, he was a tiny bundle weighing just 7 pounds when he was placed in my arms shortly after his birth. He was born in the very same hospital where I had been born 35 years earlier. And, like me, he was placed into the waiting arms of a mother through adoption.

I thought, as an adopted person myself, that I knew all about adoption. Boy, was I ever wrong!

My Adoption Story

My adoption in Massachusetts was in 1982. It was and still is a closed adoption. I grew up knowing I was adopted and wondering about the woman who had been my first mother. She carried me for 9 months, but I knew little about her. I knew only what my parents had learned from the adoption agency: she was 19 years old, unmarried, and a student in Boston at the time. She asked the adoption agency to choose a family to adopt me. She told them she wanted me to have two parents, a home, security, and a loving family.

I ended up right where I should be. I had a wonderful childhood and two great parents with lots of love. Even with that, I wondered about my birth family and my story. I think the author Jodi Picoult summed up my feelings best when she wrote, “Being adopted felt like reading a book that had the first chapter missing. You might be enjoying the plot and the characters, but you’d probably also like to read that first chapter.”

I had learned to accept the fact that I would be a bit of a mystery, even to myself.

My Son’s Open Adoption in Massachusetts

So, when my husband and I decided that adoption would be the way we built our family, I thought I was an expert.

When we came to Adoption Resources, however, I discovered that adoption isn’t at all what I expected. Adoption in Massachusetts has undergone a transformation. Open adoption is the way most placements are made, and closed adoption is rare now.

Open adoption is what we have with Jake’s birth mother, Ella. While she was pregnant, Ella worked with an Adoption Resources counselor. She was able to look at photo books of waiting families based on the values that were important to her.

Ella chose us, and we eventually met over dinner. Even while she was pregnant, we texted quite a bit and spoke on the phone. I was even able to join Ella at her ultrasound appointment! After the delivery, Ella was the person who placed our son in my arms at 12 hours old. We both had tears in our eyes but smiles on our faces. We continue to have a wonderful relationship with Ella and are so glad that she has been part of Jake’s life from the very beginning.

The First Chapter isn’t Missing

The mystery that I feel in my adoption clearly isn’t part of Jake’s adoption experience. When questions come up, we simply call Ella and she can answer them for Jake. Food allergies, questions about race or ethnicity – things that have never been clear about me – Jake knows. He can call Ella and ask his questions. Now at 17 years old, he can even drive to visit her – assuming he can borrow the car!

Our family’s experience with open adoption in Massachusetts has been so beautiful in so many ways. Our love, respect, and ongoing relationship with Ella have led me to begin to think about searching for my own biological family.

If you would like to learn more about open adoption, please don’t hesitate to reach out to Adoption Resources. To get in touch with one of our counselors, please call us at 800-533-4346 or fill out our contact form.

A happy mother and her adopted son in a park.
Adoption Stories

Q&A: Explaining Adoption

Adoptive parents will inevitably find themselves in situations where they feel compelled to answer questions (or correct misinformation) about adoption. Finding the right words in these scenarios isn’t always easy. To help families deal with these instances as they arise, Deb Shrier, LICSW of Adoption Resources has answered three real life questions from adoptive parents.

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Adoption Stories

Choosing Open Adoption

Posted by Natalie*, a birth mother

My counselor once told me, “Every single adoption is different. Every plan that a birth mother and adoptive parents make is unique.” I am glad I made my plan for my daughter, but it took a lot of thinking. It was hard enough to decide on adoption for my daughter. Choosing an open adoption made it in some ways harder, and in some ways easier.Read more

Adoption Stories

Finding the Right Family

Posted by Jennifer O.

When I thought about adoption, I wondered how I could find the right family for Maya. I imagined a loving family ready to take care of a baby. There were so many things I wanted Maya to have that I couldn’t give her: I wanted her to have two parents, a dog, and a yard to play in. I wanted her to live in a safe neighborhood and attend a safe school. Mostly, I wanted her to have the best life possible, and to make sure she could grow up to be whatever she wanted.

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Adoption Stories

Our Journey of Love and Family

Last summer, Sandra and Gary* were gathering together paperwork in order to adopt their second child. They also had to create an autobiographical book to tell their family’s story to any prospective birth parents. Their book was titled, “To a Brave, Young Couple: Our Journey of Love and Family.”

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